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Remembering the Shore

by Senseless Beatings

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1.
I'm off the deep-end. I am vicious, just ask my friends. I'm no slave to beliefs. I'm out for truth, I'm not looking for peace. All truths are covered in blood: with this understood I am cutting my ties. I won't compromise! I won't trust in smiling eyes. One thing I've learned is that all smiles are just lies I've been cursed and ignored; My heart has been slammed in the door. I've been broke and cried on 12-hour drives, exhausted and incomplete with nothing to eat. But I've been praised and adored; I've held the girl of my dreams before. For those brief walks in the sea, I had to suffer the shore. I've risked it all; I've leaped in faith and been broken in the fall. I've lived for the good, I have went without because I knew I should. I have been misunderstood, I've shed my blood to become truly wise I won't compromise, I won't trust in smiling eyes. One thing I've learned is that all smiles are just lies. I've been cursed and ignored; My heart has been slammed in the door. I've been broke and cried on 12-hour drives, exhausted and incomplete with nothing to eat. But I've been praised and adored; I've held the girl of my dreams before. For those brief walks in the sea, I had to suffer the shore.
2.
Fidelity 04:01
I'm losing myself; sinking into the sea My vision terrifies me, I'm becoming no one It won't be long before you won't know me I am limping now—you should've seen me run. I'm hurting again, I'm broken down. Through tolls and turnpikes, I've traveled alone. I'm red-eyed all night; You're not around But I remember that light we were shown Oh the highs are so sweet Oh The falls are so cruel This dream calls me to my feet and the world calls me a fool. The signs I saw are illegible The reasons I had are refuted now The more I learn, the less I'm able Nevertheless, I'll press on somehow Oh the highs are so sweet Oh The falls are so cruel This dream calls me to my feet and the world calls me a fool.
3.
I can't outlive these memories of us playing in the sea. We embraced where the water met the shore, the waves rushed over our heads in my bed till you left me alone to break with the waves. My heart's pounding like the hooves of a horse on a cobblestone pathway to you. My heart is swelling, I'm dwelling again. Honey, there's so much to do. So much to lose. I'm dreaming of a journey to you cross-country. I'm afraid. It's impossible to afford to drive 800 miles away to your play, I want to atone. Did I drive you away? My heart's pounding like the hooves of a horse on a cobblestone pathway to you. My heart is swelling, I'm dwelling again. Honey, there's so much to do. So much to lose. and I want to die, but something inside begs me to keep on, to hold on to hope that's unfounded This fire won't die.
4.
Monuments 03:23
You would sit with your legs folded up on my bed and peer out the window for hours. I was afraid you'd run away in the beginning when kissing was beyond the horizon just passed the trampolines, long walks, and summer rains. We would stay in the dark wrapped up in my bed; called out of a moment to be united impossibly; You were becoming an uplifting love in my life I held on too tight to keep you around and you ran away My confidence remains a well-worn monument to that event, and it's falling. As it topples take time to feel the loss: timelessness taken back by merciless ticking.
5.
6.
Faith 04:27
It was a slow decline, She looked weaker every time I made the drive I dreaded, I hated to see her confined to bed. She was stuck in time, and time just ticked away As Disease drug her down and the earth reclaimed its own. You smile and claim she's in a better place sing grace, and save face, but it's all in bad faith. Faith is not any easy thing, it doesn't take away all my pain it cannot cover the cost, or return all that I have lost I heard her gasping breaths, I saw my mother taken away by Death. Even Jesus wept. Even Jesus Wept. So why can't you? It's true what they say. I miss her everyday. So many things I cannot change. So many things I didn't change. You smile and claim she's in a better place sing grace, and save face, but it's all in bad faith. Faith is not any easy thing, it doesn't take away all my pain it cannot cover the cost, or return all that I have lost I heard her gasping breaths, I saw my mother taken away by Death. Even Jesus wept. Even Jesus Wept. So why can't you?
7.
Child 03:05
When you became a man, did you put away childish things? Is Truth in your toy bin waiting for moths or a thief? Does the Word still echo in your mind like a thunderous stomp in an empty room? Is your being, is all meaning still an issue for you? It is for me! I am still a child on a doorstep; in a city with blinding lights far from the hilltop. Do you ever just long for home—to run back to your mother's arms Does your throat ache when you think of all you've loved that's lost? Do you feel hopeless when you think of where you're going? Is home somewhere you have never been? It is for me! I am still a child on a doorstep; in a city with blinding lights far from the hilltop. Can you hear me? I'm still a child on a doorstep in your city with blinding lights far from the hilltop.
8.
I thought I'd found some meaning in this existence that tortures me You died before I could show you the wonders of the sea. Maybe I'll get through this if I can write about the light in your eyes you couldn't see I have your books and a blanket My artifacts of grief I'll cuddle up to Nietzsche and write down mythic dreams Maybe I'll get through this if I can write about the light in your eyes you couldn't see You were such a brightness in a world filled with gloom. It must have been a burden to always be the light. I'm glad you're free from pain, but you've gone far too soon; It's a tragedy for a fire to burn out on a cold night. I know it wasn't easy you were in so much pain. There's no room in this world for such a perfect saint.
9.
I took your hand and saw the scars on your arms. You hushed me; I fought back tears I could not stand to know your self inflicted pain. You scooped up your bag and looked me in the eye. When you couldn't make it another moment I saw you smile. You were so busy then; You had no time for friends. I stayed at school all day to see you that night. The gravel lot was cold and dark; we walked to your car. You fell, exhausted, I took you in my arms. When you couldn't make it another moment I saw you smile. The world's injustices weighed on you. You'd starve, cry, and write. A martyr for every cause; you took up every fight. You felt the sins of America and lamented imperialist might. You battled the bungled and botched; you refused every white lie. When you couldn't make it another moment I saw you smile.
10.
This is a song for all of you who are intolerant of oppression; who still long to wreck this machine that perpetuates alienation. This is a song for all of you who won't accept the whitest of lies—who believe starvation is not an acceptable compromise This is a song for all of you with militant determination to see the instantiation of an egalitarian situation. This is a song for all of you who scream that sentiment of spartacus— create solidarity and fight on for Justice You should well know that everything good gets bloodied and dragged through the mud every just man will be publicly humiliated and misunderstood. But still; when things get dark, when faith is not an easy thing, be true to what you once believed Love what you will never believe twice; don't give up on what you are not yet. This is a song for all of you who have big hearts; who have fallen in love and are being ripped apart You feel everything so big it's overwhelming; passions, obsessions, the pain of loved ones leaving. Your world will grow ever more precarious and vulnerable; right and wrong will be blurred, the difference ever more indiscernible. All your greatest journeys you have to make alone; that suffering, that passion will be yours alone. And existence will become too severe to bear, and you will doubt there's any reason to remain alive and here But still; when things get dark, when faith is not an easy thing, be true to what you once believed Love what you will never believe twice; don't give up on what you are not yet.

about

Remembering the Shore is an album about the sufferings of Badiou's "Militant of Truth." A militant of truth loves an unrealized possible future and will remain true to it in spite of all hardships. Sworn to love what he'll never believe twice, the militant of truth will remain loyal to the end.

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released January 17, 2014

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Senseless Beatings Charlotte, North Carolina

Weaving together ephemeral semblances of meaning and vainly groping at values, Senseless Beatings is a musical project(ion) of people with no place to go. In spite of recognizing the vanity of their hopes (being-for-other-that-is-being-for-self), they wander about feverishly writing music that never quite satisfies their desires. ... more

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